Why Kids Struggle to Understand Others’ Emotions—and How to Help

Have you ever noticed your child reacting inappropriately to a friend’s sadness or failing to pick up on your frustration after a long day? Understanding others’ emotions is a crucial life skill, yet many children struggle with it. This can affect their friendships, classroom behaviour, and overall emotional intelligence. But why does this happen, and how can parents step in to help?

Children aren’t born with the ability to instantly recognise and interpret emotions; they learn it over time through experiences, observation, and guidance. In today’s fast-paced, screen-dominated world, children may have fewer real-life interactions that help develop emotional intelligence. The good news? With the right strategies, you can help your child navigate this essential skill.

Why Do Kids Struggle with Understanding Emotions?

1. Limited Emotional Vocabulary

Children often lack the words to describe what they or others are feeling. If a child can only express emotions as “happy” or “sad,” they may struggle to identify more complex emotions like frustration, disappointment, or empathy.

• Impact: Misunderstandings and frustration in social interactions.
• Solution: Introduce an Emotional Learning strategy by expanding their emotional vocabulary. Use books, flashcards, or daily reflections to teach words like ‘proud,’ ‘nervous,’ or ‘overwhelmed.’

2. Over-Reliance on Facial Expressions

Many children are taught to associate emotions with facial expressions alone. However, real-life interactions involve subtle cues like tone of voice, body language, and context.

• Impact: Difficulty in recognising emotions in situations where facial expressions don’t match the spoken words.
• Solution: Engage in Social Learning activities by playing guessing games where children interpret emotions using different clues, such as tone and gestures rather than just expressions.

3. Self-Centred Perspective

Young children naturally see the world from their own viewpoint. The ability to understand others’ emotions requires cognitive development and practice in perspective-taking.

• Impact: They may seem indifferent to a friend’s sadness or assume everyone shares their emotions.
• Solution: Use role-play and Logical Learning tools to help children “step into someone else’s shoes.” Ask questions like, “How would you feel if your best friend ignored you?”

4. Lack of Real-Life Social Interactions

Technology has changed the way children interact. Excessive screen time reduces the chances for face-to-face conversations, where they can observe and learn emotional cues naturally.

• Impact: Weaker ability to read emotions and respond appropriately.
• Solution: Encourage Social and Emotional Learning strategies by prioritising playdates, group activities, and meaningful family discussions over screen time.

How Parents Can Help

1. Be an Emotional Role Model

Children mirror their parents’ behaviour. When you openly express and label your own emotions, children learn to do the same.

• Say, “I feel frustrated because I misplaced my keys. I need a moment to calm down.”
• Show empathy towards others and verbalise it, e.g., “That person seems upset. Maybe they had a tough day.”

2. Teach Emotion Recognition Through Storytelling

Stories allow children to explore emotions in a safe and engaging way.

• Read books where characters experience a variety of emotions.
• Pause to ask, “How do you think this character feels? Why?”
• Relate the story to real-life situations to reinforce understanding.

3. Practise Perspective-Taking

Help children develop empathy by encouraging them to think from another person’s point of view.

• Use everyday situations: “Your friend was quiet today. Why do you think that is?”
• Create hypothetical scenarios: “What if you forgot your lunch at school? How would you feel?”

4. Create an Emotion-Friendly Home Environment

Make discussing emotions a regular part of your home life.

• Use an “emotion chart” where children can point to how they feel each day.
• Encourage them to talk about their emotions instead of acting them out.
• Offer reassurance and guidance rather than dismissing their feelings.

Understanding emotions is not an overnight process; it requires continuous learning, practice, and support. By incorporating these social, emotional, ethical, and logical learning tools, you can help your child develop strong emotional intelligence, improving their relationships and overall well-being.

However, if your child consistently struggles with understanding emotions, has difficulty forming relationships, or shows signs of emotional distress, seeking guidance from a professional counselor can make a significant difference. Early intervention can help them develop the skills they need to thrive socially and emotionally.